The Company You Keep: Are They Feeding You or Draining You?

Let’s talk about nourishment, not the food on your plate, but the people in your life.

Because nourishment isn’t just about what we eat… It’s about what we allow in. Who we allow close. And how those people shape our energy, our thoughts, our nervous system, our very sense of self.

As an introvert, I’ve learned the hard way that not all time spent with people is nourishing. Some of it is draining. Some of it is soul-crushing. If I’m not careful, I find myself worn thin, emotionally depleted, and questioning everything, simply because I wasn’t paying attention to who I let close and how I spent my energy.

A wise friend once said:

“There are energy givers… and there are energy suckers.”

Simple, but it hits deep.

You’ve felt it, too.

That person you talk to and walk away feeling like the air’s been sucked out of your lungs. And then there’s that rare one who speaks life, and you leave their presence feeling lighter, clearer, and more like yourself.

The Difference Between Them

Energy Givers:

• They listen with their whole heart.

• They speak encouragement, not criticism.

• They inspire you, challenge you in love, and hold space for your growth.

• You feel nourished, expanded, and grounded after being with them.

Energy Suckers:

• They dominate conversations with negativity.

• They gossip, complain, or constantly take without giving.

• You leave feeling small, drained, and emotionally heavy.

And yet we keep letting them in. Why?

The Internal Battle: Loving Others vs. Losing Ourselves

For many faith-filled women, we wrestle with a deep tension: we are called to love our neighbors as ourselves.

But here’s the question most of us skip over:

Are you loving yourself?

Because Jesus didn’t say “Love your neighbor instead of yourself.” He said as yourself.

If you don’t know how to honor your own boundaries, protect your peace, or walk away from emotional harm… how can you fully love others from a place of health?

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Jesus Himself modeled boundaries. He retreated. He rested. He walked away.

He even told His disciples:

"And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, as you go out of that house or that city, shake off the dust from your feet." (Matthew 10:14)

That wasn’t harsh. It was holy wisdom. He was showing them, and us, that when people refuse to honor who you are or what you bring, you are allowed to walk away.

Staying in toxic, demeaning, or one-sided relationships does not make you more righteous. Sometimes, it just makes you sick.

What the Research Shows:

Science is finally catching up to what our souls have long known:

• Toxic relationships raise cortisol levels

• Lead to adrenal fatigue, burnout, and even autoimmune issues

• Disrupt sleep, digestion, immunity, and mood

• Increase risk of depression and anxiety

You can be eating clean and exercising… but if the people closest to you are constantly draining you? Your health will still suffer.

From My Heart to Yours

As a wellness coach, introvert, and woman who’s had to reclaim her health from the inside out, I’ve learned that my energy is sacred. Read more about boosting energy here https://www.benourished360.net/boost-your-energy-in-midlife-nourish-your-body-mind--purpose

Saying no to people who drain me is not unloving. It’s showing myself the love I need to give others well.

Boundaries are not rejection. They are protection. They are spiritual stewardship.

You can love someone and still create distance. You can forgive someone and still not give them full access to your life.

What Life-Giving People Feel Like:

• You feel safe, not judged

• You breathe easier around them

• They build you up, not break you down

• You leave them feeling more alive, more seen, more whole

Once you experience that kind of connection, you stop settling for less.

So, What Holds Us Back?

• Guilt

• Habit

• Fear of being alone

• Confusing being "nice" with being a doormat

• Believing boundaries are un-Christian

But walking in peace and protecting your spirit is not a sin. It’s wisdom. It’s maturity. It’s obedience.

Truths to Take With You:

• You matter too.

• You can choose peace.

• You can love without losing yourself.

• You don’t have to carry people who are breaking your back.

Reflection Prompt:

Who consistently brings you peace, encouragement, and strength? And who leaves you feeling unsettled, anxious, or unseen?

What would it look like to love yourself as Jesus asked you to, so you could love others better, not from depletion but from wholeness?

For more on loving yourself visit my blog https://www.benourished360.net/do-you-love-who-you-are

You don’t have to be everything to everyone. But you do need to be faithful to care for the one life you’ve been given.

With love and firm grace,

Nikki Zurcher
Integrative Wellness Coach

Be Nourished 360