For years, my husband and I were business partners in the family enterprise, a.k.a. running a household, managing schedules, raising kids, and making sure no one starved. Romance? Flirty conversations? Inside jokes? Those took a backseat to discussions about dentist appointments and grocery lists.

I remember wondering: When the kids grow up, will we even know what to talk about? Will we sit across from each other at the dinner table in silence? Would we just be… strangers?

But here’s what I didn’t expect: midlife has actually brought us closer than ever.

With the chaos of raising young kids behind us, we’ve had space to rediscover each other. And you know what? We’re actually fun! We have inside jokes again, we laugh more, we dream together, and -dare I say it? - we’re kind of crushing this midlife love story.

If you’re in this season too, where the house is quieter, the schedules are less hectic, and you find yourself wondering, Now what?—I’ve got some great news. This is your chance to fall in love all over again. Here’s how:

For years, we’ve looked at our spouses primarily as Mom or Dad—the responsible, self-sacrificing, diaper-changing, carpool-driving half of our parenting duo. But guess what?

They are so much more than that.

Think about it: Who is your spouse, outside of being a parent? What dreams do they have? What makes them light up? What have they always wanted to do but never had time for?

This person has changed just as much as you have over the years - get curious about them again.

Try this: Ask your spouse fun, open-ended questions that have nothing to do with kids or responsibilities. “What’s a dream you had when you were younger that you still think about?” or “What’s something you want to do together now that we have more time?”

A study from the Gottman Institute (one of the leading research centers on relationships) found that couples who express curiosity about each other and continue learning about their partner’s inner world have stronger, happier marriages. So go ahead - rediscover your spouse!

It’s easy to default to talking about the kids, even when they’re grown. But when our conversations only revolve around what’s going on in their lives, we miss out on what’s going on in ours.

Try this: Make a rule: At least one dinner a week with zero kid talk.

Instead, talk about:

• Your dreams for the future
• A book, show, or podcast you both love
• Something you’ve been learning about yourself in this season
• Funny or random questions (If we could live anywhere for a year, where would it be?)